I love you... 永远都不放弃爱你的权利。

Sounds familiar? lol. heehee. obviously not by me. and i re-read the 天使街23号. So.... nice. will want to continue reading one lor. got 5 volume. heehee. and touching neh. will cry. I cry terribly for every volume. and so... nice. sweet!!! plus romantic songs to go along... CRY MORE TERRIBLY.

Boring day... I studied Chem test... lol. surprising. so-so surprising. like, i am suddenly interest in the subject i hate most. now, the subject i hate most is physics. the subject which i like most in the past. cause... i don't understand and refuse to find out more. or even put my heart and soul in it.. but still, studying is never the thing i liked to do in life most. I want to go Globetrotting!!! and bring girl girl along.. and buy a house or land in a beautiful country and fufill my happily ever after with my animals. hehee. but is there even happily ever after in this world?

watch Enchanted to understand more.. heehee.

Achiever's day... urgh. boring!!! duh. Amanda, clement, yuqi were. emcees. lol.

and well. someone in this school is a super duper hypocrite. say that i got only 1/25 for my assignment then weakest link in class. then wat? and after achievers day thingy, we got some balloons from the decorations. and she want. i was holding 2 one's gina's. then... she approach from behind. touch me, so gently, and asked"may i have one?'" ewww. ewww. who the hell will want to give her... who? who? well some bitch who i always hate. she was a hypocrite too. so that worked well together.

hahahahaha. so funny. yikes!!!

my new status. as "THE IRRITANTS" together with jia ying.

heehee. lol. we succeed in irritating jonathan for 20 mins? heehee. then he got distracted. well. we got new targets. heehee. lol. and wow. jonathan's patience is almost inlimited. he did not flare lor. heehee. lol.

and i prepared sandwich for recess. a great way to slim down, save mony and AVOID MAGGOTS!!! eewww!!!

and tml's achiever's day. then go out before that!!! this year is so... no air-con. in our own stupid school hall. and... well... everything will not be as grand as before coz in school. heehe.

and i want my own tattoo!!!! . heehee. flowery pattern on top of feet and dog bone on the ankles. heehee. nice lor.

School's over!!! dang. more homework. that's the difference between an adult and child. a child have to work til midnight with those test and workbks. whereas, an adult just go home to slack after a day's work. well.. most. and they insist that childhood is the best time in life. omg... pls. that's your childhood... yr childhood. and people like don't even have a proper childhood lor. i study so hard. oh dear. and don't even get the chance to go out to play with other kids. just me and thoe toys. that limited my imaginations.

i hate school. i want go out!!! i want to buy my fairytale... the book lor. 天使街23号。so good. cause... the guys are like angels lor. angels lehs. and will there be happily ever after? the answer is no. NO. N.O. no no no. not in this 21st century.

heehee. pathetic girlgirl went for her trip to clinic. omg. she has to be hospitalized. sobss. she need to be put under anaesthetic lor. and by just letting the doc touch her make her cry, then hug me tightly. omg. then let her stay there for one day? worse. and worse still she is undergoing deep ear cleaning. sad. and letting her stay at a stranger's place for one day... sobss. and thank got she is alright when we fetched her from the clinic. and she so happy. heehee. but.... her asshole  very dirty leh.... and lao sai... yikes. and worse. my dad got to pay 300 plus. omg. if my mum would let me go earlier then don't need she much money and pain for her. sad...

before fetching her, sports day was a disaster!!! aspen not enough runners and got super lousy rank. haiz. then well.... every thing was not as grant and as beautiful as last few years. no vip. no addressing to kick off the event. and haiz... got pranked. heehee. and prove that i have not been using my emotional skills lately. they got rusty. heheee.

and good friday was nothing special!! my life!!! my life!!!!

and today saturday, went to chinatown tcm for revisit. cause..... causee.... i got terminal disease. i am dying... lol. heehee.

and mum refuse to got isle. the beach or watever shop. got slippers lor. pumps and heels. the beachy wear. heee. and also nice dress.  then cannot go.... cannot go.... 不可以去。。。so... i go home then grumpy grumpy lor. like grump from snow white. haiz. then pass by vivo. pass by vivo leh. also cannot go .sad sad. sadsad. thenblog here. then girlgirl slacking her time away . haiz. haiz.

not studying again.heehee. with come here crapping every night then.

got english remadial. lol. crappy. so pathetic. all the 瘟神聚集在一起. omg. thank god. change teacher. and separate to groups. and left one 瘟神. heehee. hahahahaahahaahahahahahahahaaha.

i love myself. but hate my mother. she stuck cooton ball in dog's ear. then what? CANNOT TAKE OUT!!! ass hole. kill. her. i hate her.

and fucking dad is unreasonable. as always. what? i say too late ask him not to bring dog out. then? he shouted at me. what the fuck . FUCK!!! and that he banged around.. throw things and bang cupboards just to find the fucking leash. oh pls. brainless idiot. and people say 家丑不能外漏.but what the fuck. i want the whole world to know how this fucking idiot works. i don't even talk to him. and never respond even if he talks. coz... can't simply tolerate his existence. him in the house is chaotic. and noisy. his beatles music. and spitting of saliva. you know what? he doesn't even care about being day or night. do it loudly regardless whether it is 4am. fuck. and even when i having breakfast. can he do it softer? does he have to disgust me every morning? spoil my day. spoil my appetite?

and him being so unreasonable. he doesn't like to go out for shopping. but expect him to have dinner with him at the bloody hawker and drink his fucking beer. and now, my dog is his victim. he want her to company him even when she doesn't like him. reluctant to even go out with him. and he pulled her out. omg. if it was me, she would wag her tail and rush out of the house. omg. omg. he always say that " i'm not scolding you, just ...." but all end up in quarrels. or i won't be even bothered to look at him or respond. pls.. talking to me is a waste of yr bloody energy.

i am not trying to be a bad daughter. but how can i when the situation is not even right? or the father?

triple Fs. family, father, friends. trouble of my life. so i ch ose to ignore them. and... isolate myself. in my room. my computer.

 

my FUCKING room.

every thing changed!! heehee our time table and new english teacher. no wonder...

and physics getting boring!! omg. begin to lose interest in it. and i hate myself. i copied my physics answers from the back of the book!!! omg. wat's happening to me? my favourite subject used to be physics. and now... i ended up copying physics answers and having no clue wat those three chapters are about... sad. i feel so bad. and started my timetable which i never follow. so... i will die soon . Dooms day arriving soon. in my own private world. and asking myself to forget about those dreams. those dreams is so unrealistic for me rite now. unless i do well. shit!!! so?

sigh...

sigh...

and nothing could be done. there is zero percent drive in me. no drive no determination. i could never succeed. forget about those dreams. and head to ITE... it's the end. the end. everything will end. soon. unless... miracles happens. in my gloomy world. there is no dream come true.

and cheer up yu duan. i love you and always will. heehee. so mushy rite? then i shall say more... i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. heeheehee.

heehee

and dr lau is not our english teacher. manjit will be. n i have no idea who is she. heehee. so... miss solastri told carol and gina that dr lau is sad. lol. duh!!! she is sad and never have her proud days of taking 4e1. hey... and dr lau quite good want. just that she is like old stubborn woman with and KIND heart. lol. heehee. maybe i will take back my words some days... heehee. lol. and some times more well... NAGGY!!! and still she is an old woman trying to teach.. heehee. lol.

and conclusion... people pls cheer up and fred not of O levels. just  test what.. heehee. and fight O levels to death!!! heehee. and win the war!! lol. and dreams come true never happens to me. heehee.. neither do miracles.

and a picture of hyun bin for you guys. perhaps a few. heehee. he is never carol's husband. trust me. unless his eyes blind. lol. a bit mean!!! :)

 

lol. he nice rite? lol. 184cm... got dimple. nice smile. rich. handsome. i like. but personality... don't ask me. i don't expect myself to go crazy over this guy. heehee. lol. but nice what.

I will be crazy soon!!! OH MY GOD!!!

at this rate of studying and dreaming... i need 10 more years in order to graduate huh?

but... well, in this world is there happily ever after? there may be.. people get married and live till old age. or two good friends which lasted for life and took care of each other till death. shitty. but most of the time people end up in divorce, break ups and even cold war that lasted till death. and live with eternal regret. and most people would choose to live in a wonderland, fairy tales and dreams. Well, people like me. dreaming for her true love kiss? CRAZY!!! and sing, dance dreaming of her true knight or man of her life.

living in the illusion, and crying out loud just because of novels and movies. i start to hate studies and crawl to bed just after writing 1 summary. HEY!!! ONE!!!! and slept for the rest of the day. urm... failure. and killing my self at the moment with the rate of studying.

there is still loads of work!!! asshole. and well. there is only like two more days to urm SCHOOL!!! those days will be back. and the real studying and remedial!!! torturing. and i am worse off this year than before. at least i bother to make notes for my favourite subjects in the past. but for now???? can't even force my self to think that i am actually not making notes. and also producing good homework. just rush through and ignore some. crazy woman never make it to the last straw. and that me!!!

omgomg... i still so angry!!! omg

the book has up till volume 6!!! omg omg.

and well..

the book is going to be a idol drama soon. and the actors and actress. SUCKS!!!

and the they totally destroyed the wonderful images i had while reading. omg.

shitty, why? of all books they choose this? huh?

and using the worse actors and actresses. omg. asshole.

 

and my mum spoke to someone on the phone abt my dad. maybe some close one. and my dad sucks. he hate shopping. i hate him. can't he just wait? and btw, we are helping him to look for clothes lor. omg. and we found nice ones on offer. he just stand in the middle of shopping centre, blocking peoples way. stand there give that fucking face. asshole. and refuse to move or respond when we call him. fuck him. ass hole. giving that fucking idiotic face which makes people tu lan. omg. and argued with my mum for going shopping after lunch or whatever. he just want to eat lunch and go home immediately and company his fucking tv set. omg.

and he said that he want to buy shorts, so, we brought him there. since he wants to go home early, we walked just a bit faster. so? and he accused of chionging so fast. asshole. is he crazy? yes he is!!! and he end up being fucked up and do not want to buy already. omg. what the fuck!!!

and having such a father isn't my choice. there isn't arguements around. but being fucked up on a family day out is enough. i can't tolerate such person around. and my mum complained to whoever that she is tired. obvious!!! i hate him totally!!! URGH!!! and he like to stay at home. at HOME!!! watch his bloody tv and drink his beer. wasting money every night. urgh!!! and he only likes to go downstairs for dinner. hawker center. omg. and the few food stuff around. omg . 

and he doesn't want to socialise. and stuck to family want us to company him. omg. we have our own private life!!! and don't expect us to company him for the rest of his life!!! oh. dear. and worse at the hawker centre. he just want to stuck in his own world. and stuck. STUCK!!! he doesn't even step out of  clementi unless for work!!! and i promise myself that if i want to enjoy myself. NEVA ASK HIM OUT!!

I am so.... angry? frustrated?

no idea. i read a book till vol 3 and there is up till vol.6!!! omg

and bookstores in singapore doesn't have!!! omg.. need to wait.. wait..wait...

running out of patience. omg. need to go find today!!! omg!!!

i am dying!!! i hate myself for finding out that there is a book 6. omg!!!

pic by me!!! using prabhu's phone. nice rite? zzz

heehee. today stayed back after chem lessons for basketball and netball. with all the people the game was so humorous. lol. however, jin fell and there is well... some conflicts.

 

yuduan left early. too bad she missed the fun. lol. i got darker!!! heehee.

 

i was so tired and slept immediately after i reached home. so fun yet tiring.

 

went to clementi for walk with my mum!!! and behaved like zombie.

i brought two books: kite runner and p.s. i love you. which is told by carol that i have wasted money cause people already own them .lol .it's my book what. i love to collect books. btw, i used to buy books every month. heehee.

girl girl is naughty tonight. she stole my apples. my mum left the fruit on the table for me and went away after that. AND!!! girl girl stole one form the plate omg. if my mum have gone longer, the fruit is gone!!! and we put her to a test. repeating the same senario. and girl girl took apple again. look like she really loves apples. heehee. and wth. she carried it all the way to her bed and savour it slowly. lol.

and!! she toppled over a bin filled with cotton buds of her ear solution and pus from infection. the kitchen is in mess. and later that night she threw up. al cotton she has eaten!!! omg!! is she crazy??? but at least she bother to throw up phew. and she sucks. naughty girlgirl. 

today's friday. lol. i love fridays. but not after chemistry lessons has started on saturday.

sobs.

i took a super long walk around my area and to tanglin sec. lol. it's bloody hell long walk. heehee

1.my home to  the bus stop at AYE and back. : 600m

2.my home to school: 1000m

3.around the school: 800m

4.around hawker centre: 200m

5.then back to my home: 1000m

6.then around my place the hawker centre: 100m

 

TOTAL: 600 + 1000 + 800 +200 + 1000 + 100 = 3.7km!!

 

that's a long walk. well to me. heehee. lol. and saw people who i bloody hell do not wish to see!!!

i hate that BITCH!!! she is and truely is. urgh!!! urgh!!!

and girlgirl is panting and well. i have to drag her. lol. she is so..

no stamina like me!! and i carried her. lol. dragging her never works..

 

well. tomorrow's chem @ 8am. shitty idiot!!!

fuck off this world. those bitch!!

 

girl!!!

pathetic, but she can jump out without any problems.

HEEHEE!!

went down with her and two ladies said that she was cute!!!

heehee

they love my dog!!! lol.

1st woman: Schnauzer?

Me: yeah

1st woman: (pet her head and paid for her bills.)

Hee hee.

2nd woman: so cute!!! so cute!!! (smile continue to buy her durians)

Me: (laughing widely in my heart!!)

I am so happy!!! girlgirl got bloody haircut from mum. and people still say she is cute. omg. she don't even look like schnauzer now.

bored day. and time crawls. i am so not prepared for O levels.

I think i would just fail. omg. and die a terrible death. or treat it easy.

Shit. fucking idiots in this world. shitty ass.

well.. i am quite a great photographer rite?

by me during trip to malaysia 2006. heehee. i love sunsets. but what's more? i spent it with my lovely cousins by the beach.

 

btw, the pic got into IN section last year. heehee.

cute rite? i want this west highland terrier!!! omg so cute. just my girlgirl is half as cute as this. lol. so cute. anyway, i saw this type of dog at vivo. lol. and called it my little brother. didi. lol. girlgirl is my sister, meimei. lol. heehee.

i want a west highland brother. and promise myself to beg my dad for one at the end of this year!!! i want!!

i thought tml was holiday already. yeah. i wondered why my holiday was not booked. just math remedial. weird. i mentioned to my mum. them she says:

SIAO!!! Still got one more week. 你读书读到几时放假也不知道!! 还有一个星期!!!

well. can't blame me what. i am like dreaming for the past 4 days. flu and lack of sleep. and no matter how much i sleep, i can't get enough of it. lol.

and i seem to escape from reality by sleeping. i sleep more nowadays. whenever i open a book and starts studying, my brain shuts. and then i would climb onto my bed for a good sleep.

this year is Os how could it be. it's like i just came into secondary school. So fast and so soon. Time flies so fast i could not capture what is happening to me. i can't remember a single thing. what happened last week what happened yesterday.

i wish i had the days where i could just stay at home, feed the animals, get married stay a home, be a unless old hag who does nothing but trying her best to capture what is happenng to her and what her life is all about.

and life is not happy for me. i hate my life. everybody is studying, everybody is doing the same thing. and everybody is pressing very hard for me to get good grades. i hate life, i hate my job as a student. i hate the people around me. i hate this world.

Saturday!!! heehee. slept for whole day. zzz.

family violence or arguments just happened.

HDB, disadvantage: don't scream too loud, yr neighbours might hears.

here it goes:
Guy: 你可以不要这样吗！！！你可以不要这样吗！！！！(damm loudly and shouting.. plus a hint of sadness.)

*BAMMM!!! BAMMM!! BAMM!!!* (hit the person or bang sth, but most likely the person)

Person: sobs... cries...

so... i could guesss.. urm...

the person is a boy.
younger than 12.
got beaten by guy.
guy is fucked up with boy.
kill that guy.
omg...

killing is the worst and worst thing of all that would happen. decrease my property's price. and urm.. you should know what.