Well, i am drunk. Just ignore the shit on this post. HAHAHA.
I am sad, sort of…
Cause my brother died on 24 dec… His heartbeat… His life ends.. Like the countdown for christmas.
And, we no longer celebrate christmas. How great?
I would miss him… Why must he… Die on this day!?!?!!
Every christmas, it’s hard, not to think of him.
I would miss him, like crazy. His is someone i always wanted, but yet i didnt appreciated? I want him, since i was born. All i wanted was a brother that could take care of me? But yet, i didnt know, i didnt love, i didnt knowledge who he is…
That gave me a everlasting regret. Really…
Why? Why must i do that?
Why must he die so early? He is the link, but when he dies, everything’s gone. Why? Why!?!?!?
He is a good person… Someone who loved me, knew who i am… Knew that i actually like dogs, made me liked dogs. Made me love cycling… Is that part of our genes? Our code? Our similarity that runs in our blood?
But now.. Everything's lost!!! Nothing is left!!!
U cant possiblilty bring back the dead.
He is cool. He has tatoos, he has nipple rings, he cycles, he rocks!!!!
He is my brother….. Rite?
But, he is no longer there. It took me too long.
Our relationship is not exactly simple. Right? Complicated family… Nothing’s normal for us.
I miss him.. What if i go visit him now? What will i say? What will he say? Will he hate me? What would he tell me? What does he feels bout me? Does he think i am a daughter of a bitch?
He witness too much. He blamed dad, partially? Or what? Does he understand?
Drunk…