i am sad.

really sad. some truth that i can't take it. too much for me.

how sad can i get? till i pop those pills and kill myself. i want no one to leave me. i want myself to be happy, but sometimes, things just go the way i want it to be.

i want to be vet or be in the pet's trade. i want to have a good and happy relationship that people would admire. i want someone to take care of me. i want to move out of my house. i want my brain's to be as smart as einstein's. i want to be a supermodel. i want to be a celebrity. i want a rich boyfriend. i want to be free of troubles. i want to lead a peaceful life. i want to be happy. i don't friends to leave me one by one. i don't want to live in this world

but then.. life don't go my way.

i can never make to a 10 pointer to joint that course. i am ugly and single and nobody wants. i have no one to take care of me 24/7. i am unable to move out of my house. i am born stupid. i am fat short and ugly. i am broke, poor and pathetic with no talent. i have no boyfriend. i have so much worries and troubles. i do not have a peaceful life, i have too many obstacles. i am sad. my friends leave me one by one. i am born to live in this world.

people are never who they want to be. well... people reading this will say, 'stupid jaclynn, if you always want to be someone you want to be you will never be happy. just accept the fact, and live a happy life.'

but then, the truth could not be accepted so easily.

it's not easy. it's really not easy.

would be a life threatening thing if people leave me again, i will kill myself. simply had enough of people leaving me. just hate it. people leaving me, can't see them anymore. have to miss them. and i hate the feeling of missing people. i hate it.