i am back again. without fail huh? hahahahahaaahhahaahahahahahahahahahaha.

emo mood, switched on. yah yah... lol. crap. father dun allow me to go chalet. have to say that at least some adults go. heehee. fucking parents that leave me crying every time. went can i leave this fucking place?

FUCKER!!!!!!!! FUCKING　parents. i will die before them trust me. and that is how i am going to make them regret. regret for the rest of their life. i will surely die before them, or kill them before i die so that lesser people get hurt. i have nice home, but i am not the kind who stay still understoood? i love clubbing, drinking, all the night life. sending my days on the beach, moon tanning, SPF 0, star-gazing.

they like to see me trap so i am their little girl. hello, i am 15!!! who else as a fifteen, live a life like me. trapped in a apartment. no sun, no light, no freedom. i hate them.

i rather sell my body for a living than to live with them!!! any takers? teenage sex? leave me a msg if you are interested, no joke!!!

and bring me away to freedom. a home will no limits. how could child grow trapped in a apartment? the apartmebt is too small for me. way too small. so small. i can't walk or dance to the groove with ease. i need ideas. ideas that roam around the world. and mum won't bring me out!!! my grandma's here, just for this few weeks. and then ? the rest of the days? rot and die at home, she is to busy to even bring me. out. rot,die and stink. this is no way, a teenager could live!!!!

if dad want to live in the 1960s then dun put the 1960s style on me. i am not interested!!!!!!

let them fuck all the way to death, i am not interested in kinship any more. they are neva stable. i belong to the noble gases. so unreactive. i trust love to much for me to belive in it anymore. so, hate me a and poke me ,i am not interested.

i will act rash, but not regret. optismistic, not perssimistic. stnad up for my mistake, not relying any one.

plan and think wat my life will be like. that the only thing i could do to free myself. so? love me, and hate me. love me lots and kiss me till i die, those are not my problem anymore. how much effort i put in, they result in nth. give up and die.

if giving up is easy, i would be dead by then. there's no big thing to give up. those small and simple, added up to a big lump of promises.

can imagine that i die, parents grief and forget, friends grief and keep me as part of their memory, the class register will remain, the seat is empty, the room is empty. i would be that memory. and that's enough, but i could neva give up on something.... it's my future and dream not fufilled.

the future's too big for me to give up. if i give up one day, don't bother to even coax me and hug me to carry on. i give up means, it's the nd of every thing.