she is only happy when i am dead, you might think that death of the children is the end for parents. NO, you are wrong, for my parents, they just cry and forget about it, talk about it occationally and simply let it go.

they do it the cruel way, of forgetting the dead. they will feel better when i am better off dead, so they dun have to worry anymore. they just live on their own and have the couple live. i won't have to worry when i am dead, they won't have to worry if i am dead. if you thnk that i am bad child, just rant all you want. curse and swear and me, i dun care.

being dead is a good thing you lost yr feelings, losing the senses. layin there while the worms fed on me. but there is too much for me to give up, i want to experience life. experience being a grown up and eveything in life, experience all sorts of troubles and knowing how to solve them... I just want to die when i look like a dried prune and all the experience, to die as a wise one.

my mum is getting more naggy, more troubles for me. she just want every thing clean and neat. scolding me for every speck of dust in my room scolding and nagging. fucking irritated by her, i want to go out badly and live on my own, be a independant person, be some one who can face the troubles and solve it myself.