Deep in thoughts..Emo!!

kinda emo subject! thinking about how people leaving me. first was rebecca, leaving for australia. but at least she comes back. then yee lin. she moving to yishun for her new house. that within the country. nut i really miss her for goodness sake. she is my best gurl and life without a best friend by yr side is really lonely. i seldom meet her. now that the distance is so far and our free time dosen't meet. i miss her and that there is one person less who cares for me by my side in school. it saddens me and that people are leaving me. i just miss tyms we had at our secret place during recess. kelly, and yeelin with me. talking abt who we hate and gurls stuff. and math lessons with yeelin during sec2 talking bunch of lame jokes and improving our math results at the same while. and the period before assembly sitting down and talking abt more things. more fun. but she is gone now, to a new bloody school. a lost of friend..

Then the sudden news of erin leaving for canada and not cuming back anymore. she sucks. my gd friends leaving one by one. is this the punishment from Him for not loving my friends enough? it really tortures me that they are leaving. erin leaving, one part of me is missing one part of the school is missing. the motivation from her gone. the sarcastic remarks that motivates me it gone. the remarks she makes that somehow controls me from doing weird things disappear. more f words from me now, listen and hear it out.

after she left, i had a dream tht erin had cancer, that scares me. being frightened abt the chances of her leaving for treatment. i just dreamt that ms gan for some reason just tell us that Erin left because she had cancer. i think i cried during my sleep, that crying part was so real. so real that i am afraid that some things might happen to my friend. Losing a friend to cananda is good enough, if losing a friend to death. This might kill me. this mind chase me insanity.

those friends that are part of me is gone. they are like pillars that supports me from falling. they are gone leaving lesser pillars, this stops me from moving. moving slower than normal. lesser friends, means lesser laughter, lesser joy, lesser jokes. i do cry easily every now and then. so easily, i had no idea wat would become of me if crying at every little thing becomes my habit. any ideas? stop laughing and start crying with me.